i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He did a backflip because drugs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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