i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
