you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
