Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
