would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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