No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
