In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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