Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
