Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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