Your face is a jimmy john
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
