What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
