well I can't set my house on fire every night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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