u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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