no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
