So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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