I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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