am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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