so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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