I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
