she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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