I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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