would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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