R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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