it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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