I wanna passion pit in your ass
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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