I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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