it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
