My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I am available for nakedness
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
