Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
