Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
