She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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