physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
