The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
