What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have tasted many bathrooms
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
