Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She bit a glass in half.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize