You just made me feel so damn special
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
