Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
