Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
