your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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