Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.