yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
