ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?

  (310): View more from California

  You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?

  (323): View more from California

  So...no?`

  Fav 16 902 2411

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

  Fav 11 1027 2489

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

  Fav 33 6262 1602

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

  Fav 31 1944 5261

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

  Fav 5 4887 1352

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?

  Fav 6 3509 1065

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

  Fav 9 1872 1250

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?

  Fav 2 826 1463

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

  Fav 1 504 717

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life

  Fav 1 507 381

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?

  Fav 0 187 231

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.

  Fav 4 399 246

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment

  Fav 1 85 154

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO

  Fav 2 36 32

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you mean still drunk

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've heard it both ways

  Fav 1 76 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize