so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?