Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm half single.

(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me it's the bottom half.

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(617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx

Replies (3) Good night (2425) Bad night (616)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

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(843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web

Replies (69) Good night (5700) Bad night (1180)
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(850): View more from Florida

It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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(850): It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store. http://tfl.nu/3zcn

Replies (17) Good night (807) Bad night (2210)
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(773): View more from Illinois

so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse

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(773): so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse http://tfl.nu/dvkx

Replies (9) Good night (713) Bad night (4263)
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(917): View more from New York City

she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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(917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q

Replies (74) Good night (3995) Bad night (18124)
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(708): View more from Illinois

eww mummy girl is here...

(931): View more from Tennessee

what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.

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(708): eww mummy girl is here... (931): what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals. http://tfl.nu/7ng0

Replies (4) Good night (1109) Bad night (4041)
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(323): View more from California

Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.

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(323): Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper. http://tfl.nu/471e

Replies (10) Good night (4130) Bad night (869)
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(702): View more from Nevada

If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???

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(702): If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy??? http://tfl.nu/4rkp

Replies (30) Good night (786) Bad night (4935)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

i came on her dog

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(504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2

Replies (45) Good night (2282) Bad night (6852)
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(254): View more from Texas

that's what penises do

(254): View more from Texas

they tell lies.

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(254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y

Replies (14) Good night (4753) Bad night (1422)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY

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(732): FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY http://tfl.nu/r4u9

Replies (14) Good night (2146) Bad night (735)
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(630): View more from Illinois

how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend

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(630): how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend http://tfl.nu/zm88

Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (408)
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(518): View more from New York

That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.

(315): View more from New York

Who is this?!????

(518): View more from New York

That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.

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(518): That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook. (315): Who is this?!???? (518): That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger. http://tfl.nu/487m

Replies (7) Good night (3304) Bad night (531)
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(903): View more from Texas

Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.

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(903): Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head. http://tfl.nu/qt0n

Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (326)
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(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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(301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r

Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (399)

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