ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
reminds me of losing my job
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?