btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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