shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
