youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
