The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
