Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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