I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
