im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
