I'm really into asian looking animals
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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