hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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