I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize