it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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