why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
