ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
