At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
