That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
