he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
ok first of all what the fuck
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
