Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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