Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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