I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
