brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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