I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize