Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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