Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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