I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize