ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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